The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I..
The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand
2024-12-31 06:01:16 +0000 UTC View Post
emmahircine posts
When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic
When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic
2024-12-31 05:01:27 +0000 UTC View PostIt's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they alwa..
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally
2024-12-31 04:01:15 +0000 UTC View PostI lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman aske..
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over
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Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange s..
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea
2024-12-31 02:01:09 +0000 UTC View PostWill glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen
Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen
2024-12-31 01:01:17 +0000 UTC View PostHow do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it
2024-12-31 00:01:09 +0000 UTC View PostFirst to tip the post $50 gets a 5min custom!
First to tip the post $50 gets a 5min custom!
2024-12-30 23:10:36 +0000 UTC View Post"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.
2024-12-30 23:01:14 +0000 UTC View PostI Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says..
I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”
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Stream started at 12/30/2024 12:26 pm I always end up chatt..
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His theory on inertia never seemed to gain momentum.
His theory on inertia never seemed to gain momentum.
2024-12-29 13:30:45 +0000 UTC View PostI took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
I took a picture of a field of wheat. It was grainy.
2024-12-29 12:30:36 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you call a magic owl? HOODINI!
What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI!
2024-12-29 11:30:39 +0000 UTC View PostWhy do they call it the funny bone? Because it’s humerus
Why do they call it the funny bone? Because it’s humerus
2024-12-29 10:30:23 +0000 UTC View PostWhat do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino???Ele..
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino???
Elephino.
2024-12-29 09:30:40 +0000 UTC View PostOnce you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.
Once you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.
2024-12-29 08:41:25 +0000 UTC View Post
