If you had encountered me back when I was a barista, would y..
If you had encountered me back when I was a barista, would you have tipped me well? 🥺💕☕️
2022-04-21 01:41:01 +0000 UTC View Post
thehaydnporter posts
Oh hi! See anything you like? ;p
Oh hi! See anything you like? ;p
2022-04-20 03:43:17 +0000 UTC View PostMario stepping out on 🍑 (Also pretty please “like” my post!..
Mario stepping out on 🍑 (Also pretty please “like” my post! It seems silly, but these things matter!) Faaaanks! 💕
2022-04-18 22:51:34 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Easter!! 🐰 Alas, no rabbit ears over here, but the Eas..
Happy Easter!! 🐰 Alas, no rabbit ears over here, but the Easter bunny decided to hop into your DMs with sweet little treat anyway 🤤 @thecarlotta and I got a bit carried away our bubble gun, and made a reeeeeal mess all over each other 💦
2022-04-17 23:58:07 +0000 UTC View PostCheck your DMs for some ultra nerdy naked fun! 🤓 I dug up my..
Check your DMs for some ultra nerdy naked fun! 🤓 I dug up my old Halloween costumes, and @taylorsdiary and @thecarlotta were kind enough to go down the darkest dorkiest rabbit hole with me. 😈 I included a bunch of bonus pics, because we had sooo much fun shooting this together, and I wanted to share that with you 😽💕🍄
2022-04-17 02:14:16 +0000 UTC View PostBe on the lookout for some tramps on a trampoline bouncing i..
Be on the lookout for some tramps on a trampoline bouncing into your DMs.👯♀️ You mayyy have seen this set elsewhere, but you haven’t seen the one that includes my own POV videos, where I’m bouncing and shrieking with fear/delight! Yes, you can shriek for two reasons at once 😈 @thecarlotta @taylorsdiary @babyruthy @malloypanda @heyitscodee @aryastorme ( . )( . ) ( . )( . ) ( . )( . ) ( . )( . ) ( . )( . ) ( . )( . )
2022-04-15 23:00:39 +0000 UTC View PostI’m like a dog in heat, a freak without warning 🐕
I’m like a dog in heat, a freak without warning 🐕
2022-04-15 03:54:43 +0000 UTC View PostI’m still alive! Just barely! Been in a major cleaning mood ..
I’m still alive! Just barely! Been in a major cleaning mood all day, and finally the end is in sight! Looking forward to getting allll these costumes organized and packed away, putting my art up on the walls, and feeling like a functional human again. Wish me luuuuck!
2022-04-14 00:41:27 +0000 UTC View PostLess than 2 hours until your favorite nerd begins her first ..
Less than 2 hours until your favorite nerd begins her first ever Austin livestream! Come hang out with me!! //9:30pm CST tonight!!//
2022-04-10 00:42:49 +0000 UTC View PostWooooo!! It’s not perfect, but my room is officially accepta..
Wooooo!! It’s not perfect, but my room is officially acceptable enough for my first Austin livestream!! 🥳 Please come hang out with me tomorrow night (I guess technically today, since it’s past midnight 😬) so I’m not all alone on the internet! Saturday the 9th //9:30pm CST// 😽💕
2022-04-09 06:31:42 +0000 UTC View PostUpdate! I’m not sick! Turns out I’m just allergic to açaí be..
Update! I’m not sick! Turns out I’m just allergic to açaí berries 😬 Thanks to Benadryl I avoided an ER trip, but I’ve been pretty knocked out all day. I’m really sorry if I’ve been slow to respond to your messages, I should be a more functional human tomorrow! 🤞💕 Aaaanyway, here’s a cute pic from when @taylorsdiary , @heyitscodee and I pretended to be Disney princesses. Can you tell who we’re dressed up as? 💚❄️🔔
2022-04-08 04:55:03 +0000 UTC View PostHonestly I haven’t felt too great today. I think the stress ..
Honestly I haven’t felt too great today. I think the stress of finishing up my move combined with too little sleep has finally caught up with me. Gonna rest up so I’m in tiptop shape for my livestream this weekend on **Saturday the 9th at 9:30pm CST**. In the meantime, I’m going to reflect on the time that @taylorsdiary , @thecarlotta and I had way too much fun with food.
2022-04-07 02:33:27 +0000 UTC View PostAbout to get the last of my things from my ex’s place, and I..
About to get the last of my things from my ex’s place, and I am SO happy to finally be done with this chapter of my life. I don’t have a witty pun, but here’s a pic of me being cute! Looking forward to all the booty-ful things the future has in store for me. (There we go, I knew I’d think of something halfway decent eventually) 🤓💕😎
2022-04-06 00:03:26 +0000 UTC View PostCan you tell how much I love her? If you somehow aren’t alre..
Can you tell how much I love her? If you somehow aren’t already following her, go add @thecarlotta and tell her “yabba dabba doo” for me ;p
2022-04-05 02:40:50 +0000 UTC View PostJust your friendly neighborhood nerd, hanging out on a motor..
Just your friendly neighborhood nerd, hanging out on a motorcycle 🏍🤓🌌
2022-04-03 22:12:57 +0000 UTC View PostGuess who’s *almost* ready to do her first Austin livestream..
Guess who’s *almost* ready to do her first Austin livestream…. I’m going to do my first show from my new place next **Saturday the 9th at 9:30pm CST**. I have a lot of unpacking to do between now and then, and need to figure out some ways to eliminate echoes in my room, as it’s all hardwood floors. In the interest of having good lighting and not sounding like I’m in a cave, anything you can contribute to my goal would be very much appreciated! I want to make sure I sound and look as good as possible for you, and that you can enjoy me from every angle…. 💦 Just realized I need curtains too, so I don’t give the neighbors a free show! 🙊 I’m going to try to do this all as economically as possible, but I really do need to do a lot to get my space in tip top shape so I can give you the very best 💕 As thanks for contributing me campaign, I can offer the following: $5 a sweet thank you message 💋 $10 a bonus pic 📸 $20 a sexy voice message 🗣 $40 a naughty thank you video ❤️ $80 you pick one of the songs I dance to during my show! 🎶
2022-04-02 22:22:29 +0000 UTC View PostGo check your DMs for a very bouncy karate class, taught by ..
Go check your DMs for a very bouncy karate class, taught by yours truly! 🥷 Before being a naked lady I was a nanny, and before that I was a karate instructor. 💪 This was definitely the least clothed I’ve ever been while teaching!! 🙊 Watch as I show @taylorsdiary @malloypanda @thecarlotta @babyruthy and @heyitscodee some self-defense basics, followed by us undressing each other to help us cool down 💕💦
2022-04-01 21:15:46 +0000 UTC View PostFinally got to live out my Nintendo DP fantasy, thanks to @t..
Finally got to live out my Nintendo DP fantasy, thanks to @taylorsdiary and @thecarlotta 🍄 Thanks for being willing to wear my costumes and getting extra weird with me!!! 😽💕
2022-03-31 22:02:29 +0000 UTC View PostTwinning with the ultra cool and darling @heyitscodee How lu..
Twinning with the ultra cool and darling @heyitscodee How lucky is that little bear?
2022-03-31 00:11:20 +0000 UTC View PostGiving a whole new meaning to the term “bubble butt” with my..
Giving a whole new meaning to the term “bubble butt” with my girl @thecarlotta 🌈 🧼💭
2022-03-28 22:29:13 +0000 UTC View PostFun fact! I gag when I’m brushing my teeth, but not at *othe..
Fun fact! I gag when I’m brushing my teeth, but not at *other* times… 🤔 What does it mean??
2022-03-23 20:35:06 +0000 UTC View PostWell would you look who’s popped her head up for some air, a..
Well would you look who’s popped her head up for some air, after being silent for nearly a week. Hi everyone. Almost out of moving hell, starting to get a bit excited for my trip to Vegas! 🤩 I really appreciate how patient you guys have been with me these past few weeks. Gonna go work my ass off and come up with some amazing content for you this weekend! 😻 But first…. More unpacking. Honestly about to lose my mind with it. If you’ve ever experienced the utter madness of moving, feel free to give me a fat tip… and to tip me. Lololol, get it?? 😏 (It’s a penis joke) I might be losing it. 🤯
2022-03-23 01:36:27 +0000 UTC View PostSorry if I’ve been slow to reply to messages this week! I’ve..
Sorry if I’ve been slow to reply to messages this week! I’ve been in the thick of moving, and it’s been all I can do to maintain a tiny shred of sanity. As an apology, here’s a pic of me bending over, waiting for my punishment. Tip me how many spankings you think I deserve? 😏 Or at least give ya girl a like ❤️😽💕
2022-03-17 20:44:00 +0000 UTC View PostWanna eat me up? This tasty pie I mean! Because it’s pi day!..
Wanna eat me up? This tasty pie I mean! Because it’s pi day!! As in, March 14th…. As in 3.14? Okay, well any excuse for me to get naked and show you my sweet pussy is all I need. Mmmm mmm! Looking good enough to eat! 🤤💕🥧 Check your DMs for all the naughty Snow White content you never knew you needed.
2022-03-14 20:18:46 +0000 UTC View PostDriving home to Austin today! Wish me luck!!
Driving home to Austin today! Wish me luck!!
2022-03-13 21:05:42 +0000 UTC View PostAsk and you shall receive! Check your DMs for some *very* ex..
Ask and you shall receive! Check your DMs for some *very* exclusive private girlfriend pics! 17 pics and 2 videos are waiting for you…. 👀 Also please be a gentleman and “like” this post if you like this post ❤️😽
2022-03-12 04:38:59 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Mario Day!! (Because it’s Mar 10, see?) Check your D..
Happy Mario Day!! (Because it’s Mar 10, see?) Check your DMs for some previously unreleased sexy Mario pics. I was too nervous to share them before, but I’ve decided to be brave and festive 🍄⭐️🪠
2022-03-11 01:32:36 +0000 UTC View PostWhew! It’s been a busy week, and with my upcoming move I won..
Whew! It’s been a busy week, and with my upcoming move I won’t have much time for naked lady stuff. I’m doing my best to get *something* finished up to send out by Friday though…. Which of the following would you be most interested in seeing?
2022-03-10 05:15:05 +0000 UTC View PostI am too exhausted to find a new pic to post, and this one h..
I am too exhausted to find a new pic to post, and this one has been kicking around on the internet for a good 15 years… Why try harder?
2022-03-09 03:27:42 +0000 UTC View PostOopsie Daisy…. Guess which friendly neighborhood nerd forgot..
Oopsie Daisy…. Guess which friendly neighborhood nerd forgot to post allll day…. As an apology, I offer you this candid of my bumbum. 🍑 On that topic, is that something you’d like to see more of? I’ve recently found a little stash of naughty candids on my phone, and don’t know what to do with them all!
2022-03-08 06:09:12 +0000 UTC View Post
